So its been awhile, i haven't got much to say although much time has passed. Life truly is flying by in the blink of an eye these days.... we only have so much time on this earth!
Today i was thinking of all the amazing people i have in my life.. there are seriously so many. And i am very grateful, to God, my family and friends. For blessing me right and left with love, respect, memories, laughter and so forth........ the list could go on and on with the people i adore, i wouldn't know where to start, and more importantly i would have idea when to end that list....
As i enter into this holiday season i am humbled. I am also looking forward to what God has in store for my life, whatever it may be, tears or smiles..... its all part of this journey.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Disneyland Adventure.....
Whelp, i can think of no better time then now, when i feel as though i am on my death bed, to write about this past weekends adventure in Disneyland. I have a feeling Micky had something to do with my illness seeing as how a fellow traveler of mine, who also touch Micky is sick as well. I will show you this picture... Micky in the middle, Allison and I on the sides. Enough said.
So, as we beginning this adventure to the Happiest place on earth we first must get our tickets. You see, we found this place to get tickets for $60, instead of the usual $101. We had an appt at 8:45 to pick up the tickets, and so we were there promptly at 8:40. This is where the fun beginnings. There was a group of 3 other women, and a couple also waiting to get there tickets. They were there after us, but didn't seem to understand the concept of respect and wait for your turn. One of the women rudely blurted out "we have appointment!" and i believe all six of us said, SO DO WE. We were asked to wait outside because a group was already inside and one group at a time... so we did. we waited, and waited and finally we got in. So then Alli and i had to sit in this room with the other ladies to sign out the tickets, of course they didn't speak in English, so we assumed they were talking about us. Probably about how adorable we looked in Tye Dye. So we decided to text back and forth about how the girl of the couple was pacing in the hall way like she was about to go into labor. I mean really? Calm down!!!! So as Alli and i were chuckling we finally got our tickets but not without lots of laughter before.
So we are on our way to the park, but of COURSE there is a Marathon going on and of COURSE you can't exit off the normal Disneyland exit. So, more waiting. This time with some angry drivers who cut me off and honk their horn. "HELLO, do you not SEE the size of my 8 passenger burban that will crush your tiny Honda little girl?? Stop texting and pay attention!!!" So of course, we are humored. So finally we make a left, and find a vacant parking lot that belongs to this office building that is not opened on sundays. SO of course, lets park there. Its right across the street and really, who is going to complain? But just in case, i leave this happy little note... because hey, a heads up would be awfully nice! So did we get towed? Well you will just have to wait till the end of the blog to find out...
So finally, WE ARE IN. First mission, World of Color fast passes. 45 minutes later, mission accomplished. Second mission, obviously Micky ears, people NEED to know these tye dye shirts stand for something!! CHECK. Third mission, picture with Micky, which is conveniently located outside the Micky ears store. CHECK. (see picture above) Now, a ride? of course! So, after hours of waiting, some not so bright individuals and lots of laughter we hit up some rides! favorite of California adventure, Probably Tower of Terror. Alli had never been on it, which is neat. She had never been to Disneyland in general actually, just Disney World (spoiled) so it was all new to her! Allison was our Bride. P.S did i mention this whole trip was for a bachlorette party? If not, i just did. 
This is us looking scared for the ride. Pretty fun. Did i mention this GIANT beetle that would NOT leave us alone in the Tower for Terror line!! Were we those girls who screamed and swatted at air, Yes. Were be probably annoying, Yes. If you would have seen the size of this thing you would of too, i can guarantee it. It liked the Tye Dye, seriously, it did. It found us in line even after we moved. Moving on....
We went on this rapid ride. Where you sit in a circle all looking at each other, thought it would be nice and refreshing, it was getting pretty hot. So we all sit and are getting excited, well we go down this slight downhill slope (not sure what else to call it) and the girls that were going backwards got SOAKED. Shawna, Alli and I on the other side weren't too bad. Just waist down really. Well as the ride keeps going and of course the raft keeps turning, we are about to go down another Downhill slope (i am beginning to think this is the technical term for it) that's TWICE as big. And of course, Alli and i end up backwards. So as females, we do what we know best, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, ahhhhhhhhhahahah, NOOOOOOOO"- this is a exact quote, from both of us, at the top of lungs. So what happened. A small squirt of water lands on my jean shorts. "we were perhaps a tad bit dramatic"-Allison. Yeah, she was right.
Then around 3:30 we head over to the magic kingdom, by this point we have been on every ride worth riding anyway in California adventure, Soaring over California is seriously the best. And we had not at this point sat down. We had though, eaten our lunch in line, so we were nourished.
To speed this story up lets just talk about how Space Mountain is the lamest for breaking, Splash Mountain is not fun when there is no Sun out, and Indian Jones is super awesome. So finally around 8:30 we decide to sit down and eat. Where, we ended up waiting in the longest line of the day. It was redunk how long it took for us to get food, and i was second in line. But we ate, and headed over to World of Color!!!! Waiting in line was amazing, because by this point 6 girls who had been practically running all day, and waiting all day, were officially what i like to call slap happy. Everything was funny. EVERYTHING. The lady in line that Couldn't control her balloon to the rather large and tall man that kept bending over in front of us and sticking his butt where it doesn't belong to the other man who kept taking off his shoes in front of us. REALLY SIR?? Your feet SMELL!! Then there was the Bachelor group with their matching wind breakers from Oregon and seemed to think Arizona was on the other side of New Mexico. I'm sorry did you graduate high school?
Then finally the coolest part of the day.
WORLD OF COLOR!!! It is so amazing. AMAZING! we were in the "wet zone" and i didn't notice till after the show how soaking wet we all were. But it was so awesome. GO GO GO (this is me telling YOU the reader to go)!! So finally, its about 11o'clock at night, and we had been going allllllll day. My feet were past the "oh they hurt a little" stage and into "i cant feel my feet they are killing me and my legs are numb" stage. So we decided to take the trek back to the car. Not without saying a prayer that it was still there. OF course to add some dramatic effect there was a huge fence in the way so you couldn't see where i parked till you turned the corner, and what do you know.. IT WAS THERE. i like to think they thought about towing it but because of my rather clever note they gave us a break.
Anyway, if anyone has read this whole thing you are amazing. Just like the weekend. Special shout out to my cousin who let us sleep in his living room, and mom who let us borrow the burban which we couldn't do the BURBAN SLIDE without.
As a side note this blog has major misspelling and grammatical errors and at time may not make sense. But i am sick, and i dont care. I am also to lazy to fix it.
Amen.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Musical Chairs
I have been meaning to write a blog for a little while now just haven't had the time to sit down and do so. Which is odd considering all I have is free time on my hands. Go figure.. why is that? I mean I feel as though this is something that happens to more people than just me. When I have 6 things to do I get none of it done, and spend my day with, well I am not sure what. Browsing the Internet, bugging my mom, eating, sometimes reading, well mostly reading, and listening to new music. Tis odd.
So anyway, back to my blog point. I am reading this book called "The Me I want to Be" by John Ortberg, a book suggested to me by a friend many moons ago. I have finally finished the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series so that relationship is over and on to bigger and better things, such as finding out how to be the best me I can be. I read this rather large paragraph in the book the other day and it really struck a chord with me, and I felt like sharing. What better way then a blog. Guilt is the word that came to mind, probably something more people wouldn't admit after reading such a "in your face" paragraph. But as for me, i am defiantly guilty. YIKES. The paragraph is in relation to closing the gap that is between God and I.
"Sometimes we manage the gap by pretending. We learn to fake it. We speak as if we had had deeper spiritual experiences than we really have, as though our sin bother us more than it really does. We pray as though our voice is throbbing with an emotion that we really have to generate ourselves. Sometime we play spiritual musical chairs, always searching for a different church or tradition or spirituality that has the magic key. Some people flit from one spiritual experience to another, continually rededicating their lives to God and then falling away, hoping to recapture the emotions they felt when they first met God. Some people quietly, secretly give up. They still hope they will go to heaven when they die, but between now and then they have been disappointed too often to expect change anymore. They have gotten used to languishing."
Now, I don't believe that I personally walk around and have secretly gave up, but I do believe that sometimes I think there is a right and wrong way to worship Him and i get so caught up in that i start playing "musical chairs" with tradition and new techniques to grow closer to God. Not sure if i am making sense yet. But this i what i mean. That sometimes I have been guilty of faking it, probably just so people couldn't see the hurt or pain i was secretly going through and the internal battle of doing what is wrong when I know what's right. iIhave acted as though some sins have bothered me at the time, when really it didn't, because it is what i thought i should do to "fake" my Christianity. Now, this wasn't yesterday or anything, this has been over the last 6 years, but there comes a time when I must Stop. So that is where I am now, growing in my spiritual maturity so to speak. Realizing that when I say one thing and feel another God is not pleased, and I am not fooling Him. I can not fake it with Him. Do I think he only hears what i say and doesn't know how i feel? DUH He is ALL KNOWING. It was a hump that I needed to jump over and conquer, realizing that I needed to stop falling away and rededicating my life and get my act into gear. The last 6 months have been a doozy, but I am finally on the right side of that hump pushing forward.
This book, although only 5 chapters in, has been pretty unique in that it explains God doesn't want me to be anything else but ME. When I die He isn't going to tell me I wasn't more like Noah, Moses or Peter. He is going to ask me if I was the me HE created me to be. Sometimes we think that in order to grow closer to God we need to change who we are. No, I don't think that's it, we are already who we are, who God created us to be, we just need to close the gap and become a better version of ourselves.
It makes sense to me....
So anyway, back to my blog point. I am reading this book called "The Me I want to Be" by John Ortberg, a book suggested to me by a friend many moons ago. I have finally finished the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series so that relationship is over and on to bigger and better things, such as finding out how to be the best me I can be. I read this rather large paragraph in the book the other day and it really struck a chord with me, and I felt like sharing. What better way then a blog. Guilt is the word that came to mind, probably something more people wouldn't admit after reading such a "in your face" paragraph. But as for me, i am defiantly guilty. YIKES. The paragraph is in relation to closing the gap that is between God and I.
"Sometimes we manage the gap by pretending. We learn to fake it. We speak as if we had had deeper spiritual experiences than we really have, as though our sin bother us more than it really does. We pray as though our voice is throbbing with an emotion that we really have to generate ourselves. Sometime we play spiritual musical chairs, always searching for a different church or tradition or spirituality that has the magic key. Some people flit from one spiritual experience to another, continually rededicating their lives to God and then falling away, hoping to recapture the emotions they felt when they first met God. Some people quietly, secretly give up. They still hope they will go to heaven when they die, but between now and then they have been disappointed too often to expect change anymore. They have gotten used to languishing."
Now, I don't believe that I personally walk around and have secretly gave up, but I do believe that sometimes I think there is a right and wrong way to worship Him and i get so caught up in that i start playing "musical chairs" with tradition and new techniques to grow closer to God. Not sure if i am making sense yet. But this i what i mean. That sometimes I have been guilty of faking it, probably just so people couldn't see the hurt or pain i was secretly going through and the internal battle of doing what is wrong when I know what's right. iIhave acted as though some sins have bothered me at the time, when really it didn't, because it is what i thought i should do to "fake" my Christianity. Now, this wasn't yesterday or anything, this has been over the last 6 years, but there comes a time when I must Stop. So that is where I am now, growing in my spiritual maturity so to speak. Realizing that when I say one thing and feel another God is not pleased, and I am not fooling Him. I can not fake it with Him. Do I think he only hears what i say and doesn't know how i feel? DUH He is ALL KNOWING. It was a hump that I needed to jump over and conquer, realizing that I needed to stop falling away and rededicating my life and get my act into gear. The last 6 months have been a doozy, but I am finally on the right side of that hump pushing forward.
This book, although only 5 chapters in, has been pretty unique in that it explains God doesn't want me to be anything else but ME. When I die He isn't going to tell me I wasn't more like Noah, Moses or Peter. He is going to ask me if I was the me HE created me to be. Sometimes we think that in order to grow closer to God we need to change who we are. No, I don't think that's it, we are already who we are, who God created us to be, we just need to close the gap and become a better version of ourselves.
It makes sense to me....
Monday, August 16, 2010
Percy Jackson & The Olympians
Yep, that's right. I am reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. The only sucky part is each book is only lasting me about a day or two. Already on the third one and i started last Thursday. This means one of two things.. they are that good and at a fourth grade reading level, or i have too much time on my hands. I am going to go with the first option.
So update. For starters, for the first time in a long time i am settling down. whoosh. I cant remember the last time i could say, this is where i am going to be and staying for the next year and a half. But tis true. I landed this super sweet coaching job that is going to test my patience, plus get me back into the volleyball world a little bit. i am coaching Freshman at Paradise Valley High School, cant remember if i discussed this is the last blog or not. I will have my official team by Thursday, but i really already have the girls picked out. I just got to give the new incoming freshman to the school chance to figure out there are tryouts and what not. This is going to be rough. I am used to girls with ability to play already.. these girls, out of 12 about 2 have played before. Yep, 2!!! When i say, "line up for serve receive" they look at me like i am growing a blueberry out of my forehead. Long story short, it is going to be a doozy, but i am excited.
For another update I applied, and was excepted to do a year internship at my home church here in the valley. CCV. I will be working in the children's ministry starting in Jan! This is such a huge opportunity for me to grow in so many different ways and i am so excited. The way this just worked i could really see God in it. There was a huge difference in this and the other things i was trying to do. I now know God really wants me to be right here with my family. It is amazing how quick things happened and i am ready to get started!
Anyway......................... that's that. just a bit of a update because i felt like blogging.
Also so you think you can dance is over. now i don't know what the heck i am going to do wed and Thursday nights. dang it.
So update. For starters, for the first time in a long time i am settling down. whoosh. I cant remember the last time i could say, this is where i am going to be and staying for the next year and a half. But tis true. I landed this super sweet coaching job that is going to test my patience, plus get me back into the volleyball world a little bit. i am coaching Freshman at Paradise Valley High School, cant remember if i discussed this is the last blog or not. I will have my official team by Thursday, but i really already have the girls picked out. I just got to give the new incoming freshman to the school chance to figure out there are tryouts and what not. This is going to be rough. I am used to girls with ability to play already.. these girls, out of 12 about 2 have played before. Yep, 2!!! When i say, "line up for serve receive" they look at me like i am growing a blueberry out of my forehead. Long story short, it is going to be a doozy, but i am excited.
For another update I applied, and was excepted to do a year internship at my home church here in the valley. CCV. I will be working in the children's ministry starting in Jan! This is such a huge opportunity for me to grow in so many different ways and i am so excited. The way this just worked i could really see God in it. There was a huge difference in this and the other things i was trying to do. I now know God really wants me to be right here with my family. It is amazing how quick things happened and i am ready to get started!
Anyway......................... that's that. just a bit of a update because i felt like blogging.
Also so you think you can dance is over. now i don't know what the heck i am going to do wed and Thursday nights. dang it.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Friendships...
Lately i have been wanting to write a blog about Friendships, i even wrote it on my to do list. Sadly that was a couple days ago and i really don't remember what exactly i wanted to write about on Friendships.... So why don't i just start writing and just hope something significant comes out of it.
I have as of late, come to the realization that some friends you just have to let go. I am the sort of person who actually values my friends, regardless of what he or she can do for me. When you are my friend i am going to call to see how you are, stay in touch, knit you scarves, listen when your angry, buy you dinner and so forth. When i say i want to hang out i want to hang out and not wait for a better option, when i say i will call later, i call later. I make my friends my priority, but too often i am finding myself as only their option. Its just super lame. I mean really, when will everyone just become adults? haha. When i am talking to you, and you give me a line of Bull, i KNOW you are giving me a line of bull. When you make excuses its embarrassing, wouldn't it be nice if we could all just be honest?
So i have decided that its okay to stand up for myself, to not put effort into "those" friendships anymore. Its a bit hard at first because you realize there is so much history with certain people and at times i feel like its a waste, how much effort i have put in, and for what, a bunch of pictures and a few stories? the answer is yes that's exactly it, and i need to be okay with that. The friendships i am making now at 25 have been more meaningful then any relationships i had before. Sometimes it just takes years to find the right friends, who value you as much as you them. I think a lot of people hit this point, when you realize you have nothing left to give............
I am back in AZ and for awhile. My sister is home, my brothers are home, and i am home and i couldn't be happier. I just need to be okay with my decision and hope that God has a plan for me right here in Glendale, AZ. I am now the freshman coach at Paradise Valley High School. That happened pretty quickly, and just a part time thing, and then we will see what else happens.
Today is Aug 1st and for the next 30 days i am trying this new thing. For 30 min everyday i am going to sit in prayer. A Time to talk with God, but for the entire 30 min i have to be smiling. I did it today, and it was interesting, because sometimes what we talk to God about is not necessarily the happiest of conversations. It was odd, i laughed a few times thinking how ridiculous this may be. But i honestly felt happier, and after i kept smiling for probably another hour... I am hoping to accomplish something from this, what, i am not so sure. I am really hoping my demeanour changes, that maybe i will actually start smiling more in my daily lifestyle... who knows........................................
I have as of late, come to the realization that some friends you just have to let go. I am the sort of person who actually values my friends, regardless of what he or she can do for me. When you are my friend i am going to call to see how you are, stay in touch, knit you scarves, listen when your angry, buy you dinner and so forth. When i say i want to hang out i want to hang out and not wait for a better option, when i say i will call later, i call later. I make my friends my priority, but too often i am finding myself as only their option. Its just super lame. I mean really, when will everyone just become adults? haha. When i am talking to you, and you give me a line of Bull, i KNOW you are giving me a line of bull. When you make excuses its embarrassing, wouldn't it be nice if we could all just be honest?
So i have decided that its okay to stand up for myself, to not put effort into "those" friendships anymore. Its a bit hard at first because you realize there is so much history with certain people and at times i feel like its a waste, how much effort i have put in, and for what, a bunch of pictures and a few stories? the answer is yes that's exactly it, and i need to be okay with that. The friendships i am making now at 25 have been more meaningful then any relationships i had before. Sometimes it just takes years to find the right friends, who value you as much as you them. I think a lot of people hit this point, when you realize you have nothing left to give............
I am back in AZ and for awhile. My sister is home, my brothers are home, and i am home and i couldn't be happier. I just need to be okay with my decision and hope that God has a plan for me right here in Glendale, AZ. I am now the freshman coach at Paradise Valley High School. That happened pretty quickly, and just a part time thing, and then we will see what else happens.
Today is Aug 1st and for the next 30 days i am trying this new thing. For 30 min everyday i am going to sit in prayer. A Time to talk with God, but for the entire 30 min i have to be smiling. I did it today, and it was interesting, because sometimes what we talk to God about is not necessarily the happiest of conversations. It was odd, i laughed a few times thinking how ridiculous this may be. But i honestly felt happier, and after i kept smiling for probably another hour... I am hoping to accomplish something from this, what, i am not so sure. I am really hoping my demeanour changes, that maybe i will actually start smiling more in my daily lifestyle... who knows........................................
Friday, July 16, 2010
Lots of things....
California is a beautiful place. Many times i sit and stare, thinking about the weather, the ocean, riding my bike, wishing i just had a million trillion dollars so everyday i could ride down to the beach, read, pray, eat and spend the rest of the day with people. I have spent most of my life thinking i am not a people person, but i beginning to think that's not true. I am learning to love relationships with people. They can effect so much of your life, what you do, say and how you feel. I think this might be because at 24 years old i have found friends. Real friends. I love my family and really cant imagine living in a place without them, and i do miss them dearly when i am away. But then again.... California is a beautiful place.......
I am going to spend the next weekish traveling around California seeing some friends, family until back to Arizona at the end of next week. I have a lot to think about. My life keeps taking this wild turns where again i have packed my car and pretty much living out of it minus the fact that i have friends houses to sleep in. This seems to happen quite often to me, i spent significant time laughing about that today with a friend. People get married, have babies start careers and my constant is living out of a car. ha. Oh life.
I am wondering where God wants me, where he is going to take me next. I am ready for anything. I was discussing today about the second coming. It could happen any day. Why am i not shouting at the rooftops trying to witness to people, where is my urgency? where is any ones urgency? Sometimes i act like we have all the time in the world to find Jesus Christ as our personal savior.... but this isn't true. Nothing is guaranteed. I believe this is something my dad says..... This conversation was brought on of course by first talking about death. Living with my grandparents has brought me face to face with the idea and reality of death. We had our neighbor die Tuesday morning. I couldn't believe it, it really happens, our earthly life really ends, and quicker then we know it. I think we spend so much of our life worrying and over thinking and before we know it it has passed us by........ when do i stop trying to run my life and give it over to God and really start living for Him.......... hmmmm... just thoughts really. Jumbled together....
Anyway... of to reality (college church group in carpenteria cali) tonight with my bud. I missed reality... its a great church doing great things. I enjoyed my weekends at rock harbor, also a terrific church. Excited to head back to CCV............. Also really would like to take the missions trip to Austria. I should just do it and stop talking about it. Give it to God.
blah.
I am going to spend the next weekish traveling around California seeing some friends, family until back to Arizona at the end of next week. I have a lot to think about. My life keeps taking this wild turns where again i have packed my car and pretty much living out of it minus the fact that i have friends houses to sleep in. This seems to happen quite often to me, i spent significant time laughing about that today with a friend. People get married, have babies start careers and my constant is living out of a car. ha. Oh life.
I am wondering where God wants me, where he is going to take me next. I am ready for anything. I was discussing today about the second coming. It could happen any day. Why am i not shouting at the rooftops trying to witness to people, where is my urgency? where is any ones urgency? Sometimes i act like we have all the time in the world to find Jesus Christ as our personal savior.... but this isn't true. Nothing is guaranteed. I believe this is something my dad says..... This conversation was brought on of course by first talking about death. Living with my grandparents has brought me face to face with the idea and reality of death. We had our neighbor die Tuesday morning. I couldn't believe it, it really happens, our earthly life really ends, and quicker then we know it. I think we spend so much of our life worrying and over thinking and before we know it it has passed us by........ when do i stop trying to run my life and give it over to God and really start living for Him.......... hmmmm... just thoughts really. Jumbled together....
Anyway... of to reality (college church group in carpenteria cali) tonight with my bud. I missed reality... its a great church doing great things. I enjoyed my weekends at rock harbor, also a terrific church. Excited to head back to CCV............. Also really would like to take the missions trip to Austria. I should just do it and stop talking about it. Give it to God.
blah.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The girl with the.......
So here is my issue. I was supposed to be starting this blogging series on Crazy Love.... the issue, that i also started the book The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at the same time. Obviously a book i didn't know i would like as much as i did, then need to read the following two books after that. The good news. I am halfway done with the 3rd book, it has taken me about 2 weeks to get through them. Yippee. At least i think its good news, so then i can start Crazy Love fresh. As my mom stated this weekends its not a book you can just read a few chapters and put down. It takes awhile. This was encouraging. Because its true, this is not a book i want to fly through. Take in each sections slowly, and understand what i am reading. Good times.
So in that case i will update the 3 of you that read this on my life's happenings.
First off Happy Late 4Th of July. I spent this year with a couple girl friends down in Newport Beach. Probably wont be doing that again, so many crazy people. Something to do once, and probably not again. Many highlights from that short 2 day vacation i took with the girls. It was a great time, and a nice break. But it did take me the whole day today to recover. Apparently my grandparents were recovering from something too because we all spent all day in our pj's.
It is getting so much better living with them. I enjoy it. I enjoy most making dinner then sitting and talking for at least an hour after hearing stories, who did what, where it all happened. The simplest of stories. Hopefully i will have another couple weeks here then who knows whats in store for me.
I had 2 interviews in Texas this past week. I will find out and make decisions on those within the next two weeks. Its just interesting where life's brings you. Its never quite where you plan. I am enjoying it but at the same time i am ready to start something new, fresh and something i can be doing for a long time. I don't care where, that's all up to God. Putting myself in His hands.
anyway, i am off. Got a new watch and it is awesome. ask anyone.
So in that case i will update the 3 of you that read this on my life's happenings.
First off Happy Late 4Th of July. I spent this year with a couple girl friends down in Newport Beach. Probably wont be doing that again, so many crazy people. Something to do once, and probably not again. Many highlights from that short 2 day vacation i took with the girls. It was a great time, and a nice break. But it did take me the whole day today to recover. Apparently my grandparents were recovering from something too because we all spent all day in our pj's.
It is getting so much better living with them. I enjoy it. I enjoy most making dinner then sitting and talking for at least an hour after hearing stories, who did what, where it all happened. The simplest of stories. Hopefully i will have another couple weeks here then who knows whats in store for me.
I had 2 interviews in Texas this past week. I will find out and make decisions on those within the next two weeks. Its just interesting where life's brings you. Its never quite where you plan. I am enjoying it but at the same time i am ready to start something new, fresh and something i can be doing for a long time. I don't care where, that's all up to God. Putting myself in His hands.
anyway, i am off. Got a new watch and it is awesome. ask anyone.
Friday, June 25, 2010
crazy love: preface
When preparing to read a book like Crazy Love there are a few musts. first, is prayer. for God to open my heart and for my mind to understand the words on the page, and to begin to understand more of who God is, and who i am. second, no distractions. This is the hard coming from the person who forgets what i am saying as it is coming out of my mouth sometimes. A.D.D to the Max... a Kleenex can be a distraction. Third, my notebook, bible, and comfy cloths. this is a must. fourth, silence. so i have nothing but my thoughts.
The preface opens with a quote.. "to just read the bible, attend church, and avoid "big" sins-- is this passionate, wholehearted love for God? I read this a few times, it took me awhile to really realize what it was asking exactly. To me it says just because we go to church, read the bible and don't rob a bank does that mean we have a personal relationship of our father?
I filled out a couple application these past couple days and i kept seeing the same question over and over. Asking, what is a christian, how does one become a christian? and i thought about that question, before putting what i believed. That anybody can call themselves a christian, and almost anybody does. Its true! I think that in some way calling yourself a "christian" is different then having a personal one on one relationship with God. is this making sense? maybe only in my head. Sometimes we can get so caught up in going to church, singing worship songs, reading the bible... in the "doing" part of it that we forget to stop and have a personal relationship with him. We want so badly as humans, i believe, to be loved, to have relationships with people. Meeting at coffee houses to talk about life, going out on a friday night with friends, dating, joining clubs........ should we not want that same desire with God? I know i lack that, most of the time i get so caught up in my earthly friends i forget about the one relationship that counts the most, with my Creator.
I believe the preface throws it all out there, so i know what i am getting myself into. If you don't agree with this, you might not continue reading. I have no doubt that if i "...surrender myself totally to Gods purposes He will bring me the most pleasure in this life and the next."
I think Chan says some memorable things throughout the preface:
"i think its far to easy to blame the American church without acknowledging that we are each part of the church and therefore responsible."
"... to be a part of a body where radical living is part of the norm."
"we forget that God never had a identity crisis." ---classic!
" come with me on this journey. I dont promose it will not be painless, change, as we all know, is uncomfortable. It is up to you to respons to what you read. But you will have a choice: to adjust how you live daily or to stay the same. "
The preface opens with a quote.. "to just read the bible, attend church, and avoid "big" sins-- is this passionate, wholehearted love for God? I read this a few times, it took me awhile to really realize what it was asking exactly. To me it says just because we go to church, read the bible and don't rob a bank does that mean we have a personal relationship of our father?
I filled out a couple application these past couple days and i kept seeing the same question over and over. Asking, what is a christian, how does one become a christian? and i thought about that question, before putting what i believed. That anybody can call themselves a christian, and almost anybody does. Its true! I think that in some way calling yourself a "christian" is different then having a personal one on one relationship with God. is this making sense? maybe only in my head. Sometimes we can get so caught up in going to church, singing worship songs, reading the bible... in the "doing" part of it that we forget to stop and have a personal relationship with him. We want so badly as humans, i believe, to be loved, to have relationships with people. Meeting at coffee houses to talk about life, going out on a friday night with friends, dating, joining clubs........ should we not want that same desire with God? I know i lack that, most of the time i get so caught up in my earthly friends i forget about the one relationship that counts the most, with my Creator.
I believe the preface throws it all out there, so i know what i am getting myself into. If you don't agree with this, you might not continue reading. I have no doubt that if i "...surrender myself totally to Gods purposes He will bring me the most pleasure in this life and the next."
I think Chan says some memorable things throughout the preface:
"i think its far to easy to blame the American church without acknowledging that we are each part of the church and therefore responsible."
"... to be a part of a body where radical living is part of the norm."
"we forget that God never had a identity crisis." ---classic!
" come with me on this journey. I dont promose it will not be painless, change, as we all know, is uncomfortable. It is up to you to respons to what you read. But you will have a choice: to adjust how you live daily or to stay the same. "
Monday, June 21, 2010
Potato Chips and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
Well i am almost done reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. It is pretty good. I enjoy is, but then again i enjoy most books, but i would recommend this to any readers really. So then i can start reading Crazy Love, the reason why i started this blog in the first place. So that i could share my thoughts and feelings about it with friends and my MOTHER.
But until then i can talk about life.
After my little mishap i was shooting the breeze with my friend Mike, and he asked me two questions. Could it get any worse? and Are you exercising? my answers were no and no. So of course i joined a gym. Not only so i could get out of the house for a good two hours. But also because its true, you really are happier when you are exercising. And i have worked out for the last 2 days and it defiantly made a difference.
Today was good. Our original caregiver Timbo from Africa cant come on Mondays and Fridays anymore so there is another boy names Frank, he is 21 and the sticker on his car says "I love Stoner Girls." obviously my grandparents would never notice that. Or the fact that he spends way to long in the bathroom. haha.
Today i made my grandpa a sandwich again, with this potato chips that he loved yesterday. He says, "Gosh, I just cant get over how good these chips are!" as he was eating his lunch. it was so funny to me. He practically yelled it.
Then later i ate a mini Reese's peanut butter cup that my grandma eats all day, and we looked up how many calories were in them, 220 per serving. So now my grandmother is so sad. she cant believe it and was floored and then said, "no wonder i am tired, those aren't good for me." ha. DUH. :). She brought it up 4 more times throughout the day. But today was good.
Good workout. I can shower there and not have to worry about showering here where there is only a bath.
So anyway, today i had the moment of just throwing up my hands because life is so truley unpredicatable. I mean really. its almost insane how much i try to plan and God's plans just always get in the way. ha. So i had an idea. I went to ASU to presue recreation because there was a certian job that i enjoyed doing, and somewhere i lost that. So today i remembered that and started applying, and am in a bit of communication with a few places, just some emails. I can only do so much work and God will do the rest. So who knows what the future holds.
anyway. that's all.
But until then i can talk about life.
After my little mishap i was shooting the breeze with my friend Mike, and he asked me two questions. Could it get any worse? and Are you exercising? my answers were no and no. So of course i joined a gym. Not only so i could get out of the house for a good two hours. But also because its true, you really are happier when you are exercising. And i have worked out for the last 2 days and it defiantly made a difference.
Today was good. Our original caregiver Timbo from Africa cant come on Mondays and Fridays anymore so there is another boy names Frank, he is 21 and the sticker on his car says "I love Stoner Girls." obviously my grandparents would never notice that. Or the fact that he spends way to long in the bathroom. haha.
Today i made my grandpa a sandwich again, with this potato chips that he loved yesterday. He says, "Gosh, I just cant get over how good these chips are!" as he was eating his lunch. it was so funny to me. He practically yelled it.
Then later i ate a mini Reese's peanut butter cup that my grandma eats all day, and we looked up how many calories were in them, 220 per serving. So now my grandmother is so sad. she cant believe it and was floored and then said, "no wonder i am tired, those aren't good for me." ha. DUH. :). She brought it up 4 more times throughout the day. But today was good.
Good workout. I can shower there and not have to worry about showering here where there is only a bath.
So anyway, today i had the moment of just throwing up my hands because life is so truley unpredicatable. I mean really. its almost insane how much i try to plan and God's plans just always get in the way. ha. So i had an idea. I went to ASU to presue recreation because there was a certian job that i enjoyed doing, and somewhere i lost that. So today i remembered that and started applying, and am in a bit of communication with a few places, just some emails. I can only do so much work and God will do the rest. So who knows what the future holds.
anyway. that's all.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
1 Tim 4:5
Today was Rough. I know what you're thinking, what could i possibly have to say!? But tis true, there is more.
Today i woke up to the sounds of many voices around. I am a pretty observant person and i know that my grandma is very overwhelmed with life and just extremely tired. For the last 3 months she has been driving back and forth from the hospital staying there all day, then coming home at night, just to turn around and do it again. I would be tired, anyone would be. imagine being 80 something and problems of your own. needless to say, shes exhausted.
So as i hear grandpa is leaving on his walk i go out because some people had left. Well, my grandmother in a panic started to yell at me to put it plainly. Remember those combs i cleaned out, well i left the ones that where on the counter out, and had cleaned the other 34 that were stuffed in draws. Well apparently ONE of those combs was his favorite. She found it, so all was fine, but it gave her the chance to say to me what she wants to say to everyone else. So of course i tried to explain to her that she knows that's not true, and i am the last person that is here to order her around and tell her she is doing a bad job. Then i walked away.
and cried, for i don't know, what seemed like hours. My Uncle showed up with 3 of his girls, i wanted to be happy but man it was bad timing. So he figured out something was wrong with Grandma and talked to her, then came to find me crying in my room. He talked to me, and my Aunt came in to talk to me and tell me to not worry about it, and some other stuff but i don't want to make this a novel.
My grandma came in later to apologize. She felt awful, and i explained to her that i am not here for grandpa, that's what the caregiver is for, i am just here to help her get some rest, clean, cook if they need that so in a month when i leave it will make her life that much easier. and she knew that, she is just so tired. My uncle told her she could probably sleep for 3 days at this point. insert more crying here.
So therefore i left to go over to my uncles house and hang with his family, my 4 cousins and my Aunt. Plus her two sisters came over and some other family for fathers day. We ate, played apples to apples, which is fun, and just chatted. It was nice to get out of the house, but i was in a pretty somber mood the whole day. What is it that my uncle said to me, "no good deed goes unpunished."
oh boy. So yeah. Today has been tough. I am still sort of in a mood... maybe because now i don't feel comfortable with a lot of things. I overheard my grandma saying she didn't want to lose me, which she wont but now its trying extra hard not to step on toes which is already making me feel stressed. oh well. tomorrow is a new day.
Today i woke up to the sounds of many voices around. I am a pretty observant person and i know that my grandma is very overwhelmed with life and just extremely tired. For the last 3 months she has been driving back and forth from the hospital staying there all day, then coming home at night, just to turn around and do it again. I would be tired, anyone would be. imagine being 80 something and problems of your own. needless to say, shes exhausted.
So as i hear grandpa is leaving on his walk i go out because some people had left. Well, my grandmother in a panic started to yell at me to put it plainly. Remember those combs i cleaned out, well i left the ones that where on the counter out, and had cleaned the other 34 that were stuffed in draws. Well apparently ONE of those combs was his favorite. She found it, so all was fine, but it gave her the chance to say to me what she wants to say to everyone else. So of course i tried to explain to her that she knows that's not true, and i am the last person that is here to order her around and tell her she is doing a bad job. Then i walked away.
and cried, for i don't know, what seemed like hours. My Uncle showed up with 3 of his girls, i wanted to be happy but man it was bad timing. So he figured out something was wrong with Grandma and talked to her, then came to find me crying in my room. He talked to me, and my Aunt came in to talk to me and tell me to not worry about it, and some other stuff but i don't want to make this a novel.
My grandma came in later to apologize. She felt awful, and i explained to her that i am not here for grandpa, that's what the caregiver is for, i am just here to help her get some rest, clean, cook if they need that so in a month when i leave it will make her life that much easier. and she knew that, she is just so tired. My uncle told her she could probably sleep for 3 days at this point. insert more crying here.
So therefore i left to go over to my uncles house and hang with his family, my 4 cousins and my Aunt. Plus her two sisters came over and some other family for fathers day. We ate, played apples to apples, which is fun, and just chatted. It was nice to get out of the house, but i was in a pretty somber mood the whole day. What is it that my uncle said to me, "no good deed goes unpunished."
oh boy. So yeah. Today has been tough. I am still sort of in a mood... maybe because now i don't feel comfortable with a lot of things. I overheard my grandma saying she didn't want to lose me, which she wont but now its trying extra hard not to step on toes which is already making me feel stressed. oh well. tomorrow is a new day.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Unique New York
So i made it to California. This is good news. And every since i got here its been go go go. I arrived Tuesday night and right away my Aunt Sharron and i started to clean out some of the food cabinets. Go ahead and ask if we found cans that expired in 2005, because the answer would be yes. Needless to say, i sure have my work cut out for me.
My grandpa came home for the first time in three months on Wednesday morning, in tow was our caregiver Jimbo! A very nice man from Africa. Its humorous watching grandpa trying to understand what he says sometimes with his thick accent. I giggle.
I left Wednesday afternoon because i figured with grandpa coming home and getting used to a new caregiver, getting out of sight was the best thing i could do! So that's just what i did. I headed up to Ventura with a pit stop along the way for some Mexican food, walking, and a tour of the Fuller Campus in Pasadena by my Friend Tad Klein.. shout out. That's my besty's brother... Miss Allison Klein. She will probably try her hardest until the day she dies for us to get married. ha ha.
Anyway, after that i went straight to my first ever ULTRA SOUND appt (da da da) for my other Besty Miss Noel Young. She my friends, is 3 months prego with what he hope is a boy, but will also try really hard to love if its a girl (hehe). JK.. OBVIOUSLY. geez. I caught about 9 flies in my mouth at that appt because i was floored. Did you know ultra sounds were like video and you could see the baby move?? i mean i didn't know what to expect but it was crazy exciting. Booya.
Then Noel, her mom, and went to souplantation, and watched so you think you can dance to round off a fantastic night.
wrap this up KATIE! alright...
so then next day i went and saw some peeps from my internship at the Navy Base. Lunch at Nap's... chicken Cesar wrap with fries.. heaven. Heard some new drama, i mean NEWS. And that pretty much summed up that.
Then went to dinner with my bud Zack and watched the Smakers (lakers) win.. ugh. Honestly, someone just take a foul and punch Kobe in the face. Amen.
Anyway, then i got to spend the day with Noel today, and pamper her, i love pampering friends. Especially ones that deserve it! Good Talk.
Anyway... i am back.. with my grandparents. Made them some dinner, and cleaned out the bathroom draws. 6 tubes of used toothpaste, 845 band aids, 78 black combs... and i am NOT joking NOR over exaggerating. Tis True. Now i lie in my doll sized twin bed, making a grocery list, and also a life list for the next week. I love list. Nothing better then crossing off lists. Oh man.
Who knows whats gonna happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after yesterday. its in Gods hands, that's for sure.
But for now i am happy.
until i have something else to say........ Night!
My grandpa came home for the first time in three months on Wednesday morning, in tow was our caregiver Jimbo! A very nice man from Africa. Its humorous watching grandpa trying to understand what he says sometimes with his thick accent. I giggle.
I left Wednesday afternoon because i figured with grandpa coming home and getting used to a new caregiver, getting out of sight was the best thing i could do! So that's just what i did. I headed up to Ventura with a pit stop along the way for some Mexican food, walking, and a tour of the Fuller Campus in Pasadena by my Friend Tad Klein.. shout out. That's my besty's brother... Miss Allison Klein. She will probably try her hardest until the day she dies for us to get married. ha ha.
Anyway, after that i went straight to my first ever ULTRA SOUND appt (da da da) for my other Besty Miss Noel Young. She my friends, is 3 months prego with what he hope is a boy, but will also try really hard to love if its a girl (hehe). JK.. OBVIOUSLY. geez. I caught about 9 flies in my mouth at that appt because i was floored. Did you know ultra sounds were like video and you could see the baby move?? i mean i didn't know what to expect but it was crazy exciting. Booya.
Then Noel, her mom, and went to souplantation, and watched so you think you can dance to round off a fantastic night.
wrap this up KATIE! alright...
so then next day i went and saw some peeps from my internship at the Navy Base. Lunch at Nap's... chicken Cesar wrap with fries.. heaven. Heard some new drama, i mean NEWS. And that pretty much summed up that.
Then went to dinner with my bud Zack and watched the Smakers (lakers) win.. ugh. Honestly, someone just take a foul and punch Kobe in the face. Amen.
Anyway, then i got to spend the day with Noel today, and pamper her, i love pampering friends. Especially ones that deserve it! Good Talk.
Anyway... i am back.. with my grandparents. Made them some dinner, and cleaned out the bathroom draws. 6 tubes of used toothpaste, 845 band aids, 78 black combs... and i am NOT joking NOR over exaggerating. Tis True. Now i lie in my doll sized twin bed, making a grocery list, and also a life list for the next week. I love list. Nothing better then crossing off lists. Oh man.
Who knows whats gonna happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after yesterday. its in Gods hands, that's for sure.
But for now i am happy.
until i have something else to say........ Night!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sidetracked...
Whelp, i should be doing homework.
But obviously that's not happening!!
I packed all day today, moving back to CALI tomm morning.
Pretty excited to get out of the June Gloom Heat and be near the beach.
My sanctuary.
Its been a long day, but i got a lot done.
Room all packed up and except for my 285 books there is almost no trace of me.
It was so great that Dianne, Sheree and Derra came over.....
those girls are awesome beyond belief and all in their own unique ways.
So happy i can call them friends.
Anyway... Off to Neverland.
But obviously that's not happening!!
I packed all day today, moving back to CALI tomm morning.
Pretty excited to get out of the June Gloom Heat and be near the beach.
My sanctuary.
Its been a long day, but i got a lot done.
Room all packed up and except for my 285 books there is almost no trace of me.
It was so great that Dianne, Sheree and Derra came over.....
those girls are awesome beyond belief and all in their own unique ways.
So happy i can call them friends.
Anyway... Off to Neverland.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
first blog
Alright, that's a lie. This isn't my first blog... i have had to do a few for classes, but those are boring ones. This one, this is for fun. Do i want people to read it, eh. I constantly catch myself reading blogs of people i don't even know..... why do we do that? and yes, i say WE because i know I'm not the only guilty party here. Although i feel like i need to be married or have a family of my own to have one of these blogs......... or probably some very insightful wisdom about life, God or love. But i don't really have any of that... but i do have sarcasm. And a lot of it.
How about i start with something of substance. My brother just left for Africa. 18 years old and on a missions trip, raised 3 grand by himself... what a little go getter. its insane.. i constantly say i want to do things like that and my little brother decides and then he does it. I am obviously missing a step. He just graduated high school, and i find myself constantly looking at my brother these days and realizing what a Man he is. I want to be just like him. He is kind, caring, clumsy, smart, outgoing, sure of himself, and a man of God. Who wouldn't want to be that?
Anyway, i find if you keep blogs short people will actually read them.
Did i even say anything important. Nope.
thanks for participating.
How about i start with something of substance. My brother just left for Africa. 18 years old and on a missions trip, raised 3 grand by himself... what a little go getter. its insane.. i constantly say i want to do things like that and my little brother decides and then he does it. I am obviously missing a step. He just graduated high school, and i find myself constantly looking at my brother these days and realizing what a Man he is. I want to be just like him. He is kind, caring, clumsy, smart, outgoing, sure of himself, and a man of God. Who wouldn't want to be that?
Anyway, i find if you keep blogs short people will actually read them.
Did i even say anything important. Nope.
thanks for participating.
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