Friendships...

Lately i have been wanting to write a blog about Friendships, i even wrote it on my to do list. Sadly that was a couple days ago and i really don't remember what exactly i wanted to write about on Friendships.... So why don't i just start writing and just hope something significant comes out of it.

I have as of late, come to the realization that some friends you just have to let go. I am the sort of person who actually values my friends, regardless of what he or she can do for me. When you are my friend i am going to call to see how you are, stay in touch, knit you scarves, listen when your angry, buy you dinner and so forth. When i say i want to hang out i want to hang out and not wait for a better option, when i say i will call later, i call later. I make my friends my priority, but too often i am finding myself as only their option. Its just super lame. I mean really, when will everyone just become adults? haha. When i am talking to you, and you give me a line of Bull, i KNOW you are giving me a line of bull. When you make excuses its embarrassing, wouldn't it be nice if we could all just be honest?

So i have decided that its okay to stand up for myself, to not put effort into "those" friendships anymore. Its a bit hard at first because you realize there is so much history with certain people and at times i feel like its a waste, how much effort i have put in, and for what, a bunch of pictures and a few stories? the answer is yes that's exactly it, and i need to be okay with that. The friendships i am making now at 25 have been more meaningful then any relationships i had before. Sometimes it just takes years to find the right friends, who value you as much as you them. I think a lot of people hit this point, when you realize you have nothing left to give............

I am back in AZ and for awhile. My sister is home, my brothers are home, and i am home and i couldn't be happier. I just need to be okay with my decision and hope that God has a plan for me right here in Glendale, AZ. I am now the freshman coach at Paradise Valley High School. That happened pretty quickly, and just a part time thing, and then we will see what else happens.

Today is Aug 1st and for the next 30 days i am trying this new thing. For 30 min everyday i am going to sit in prayer. A Time to talk with God, but for the entire 30 min i have to be smiling. I did it today, and it was interesting, because sometimes what we talk to God about is not necessarily the happiest of conversations. It was odd, i laughed a few times thinking how ridiculous this may be. But i honestly felt happier, and after i kept smiling for probably another hour... I am hoping to accomplish something from this, what, i am not so sure. I am really hoping my demeanour changes, that maybe i will actually start smiling more in my daily lifestyle... who knows........................................