Friday, June 25, 2010

crazy love: preface

When preparing to read a book like Crazy Love there are a few musts. first, is prayer. for God to open my heart and for my mind to understand the words on the page, and to begin to understand more of who God is, and who i am. second, no distractions. This is the hard coming from the person who forgets what i am saying as it is coming out of my mouth sometimes. A.D.D to the Max... a Kleenex can be a distraction. Third, my notebook, bible, and comfy cloths. this is a must. fourth, silence. so i have nothing but my thoughts.

The preface opens with a quote.. "to just read the bible, attend church, and avoid "big" sins-- is this passionate, wholehearted love for God? I read this a few times, it took me awhile to really realize what it was asking exactly. To me it says just because we go to church, read the bible and don't rob a bank does that mean we have a personal relationship of our father?

I filled out a couple application these past couple days and i kept seeing the same question over and over. Asking, what is a christian, how does one become a christian? and i thought about that question, before putting what i believed. That anybody can call themselves a christian, and almost anybody does. Its true! I think that in some way calling yourself a "christian" is different then having a personal one on one relationship with God. is this making sense? maybe only in my head. Sometimes we can get so caught up in going to church, singing worship songs, reading the bible... in the "doing" part of it that we forget to stop and have a personal relationship with him. We want so badly as humans, i believe, to be loved, to have relationships with people. Meeting at coffee houses to talk about life, going out on a friday night with friends, dating, joining clubs........ should we not want that same desire with God? I know i lack that, most of the time i get so caught up in my earthly friends i forget about the one relationship that counts the most, with my Creator.

I believe the preface throws it all out there, so i know what i am getting myself into. If you don't agree with this, you might not continue reading. I have no doubt that if i "...surrender myself totally to Gods purposes He will bring me the most pleasure in this life and the next."

I think Chan says some memorable things throughout the preface:

"i think its far to easy to blame the American church without acknowledging that we are each part of the church and therefore responsible."

"... to be a part of a body where radical living is part of the norm."

"we forget that God never had a identity crisis." ---classic!

" come with me on this journey. I dont promose it will not be painless, change, as we all know, is uncomfortable. It is up to you to respons to what you read. But you will have a choice: to adjust how you live daily or to stay the same. "

Monday, June 21, 2010

Potato Chips and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Well i am almost done reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. It is pretty good. I enjoy is, but then again i enjoy most books, but i would recommend this to any readers really. So then i can start reading Crazy Love, the reason why i started this blog in the first place. So that i could share my thoughts and feelings about it with friends and my MOTHER.
But until then i can talk about life.
After my little mishap i was shooting the breeze with my friend Mike, and he asked me two questions. Could it get any worse? and Are you exercising? my answers were no and no. So of course i joined a gym. Not only so i could get out of the house for a good two hours. But also because its true, you really are happier when you are exercising. And i have worked out for the last 2 days and it defiantly made a difference.
Today was good. Our original caregiver Timbo from Africa cant come on Mondays and Fridays anymore so there is another boy names Frank, he is 21 and the sticker on his car says "I love Stoner Girls." obviously my grandparents would never notice that. Or the fact that he spends way to long in the bathroom. haha.
Today i made my grandpa a sandwich again, with this potato chips that he loved yesterday. He says, "Gosh, I just cant get over how good these chips are!" as he was eating his lunch. it was so funny to me. He practically yelled it.
Then later i ate a mini Reese's peanut butter cup that my grandma eats all day, and we looked up how many calories were in them, 220 per serving. So now my grandmother is so sad. she cant believe it and was floored and then said, "no wonder i am tired, those aren't good for me." ha. DUH. :). She brought it up 4 more times throughout the day. But today was good.
Good workout. I can shower there and not have to worry about showering here where there is only a bath.

So anyway, today i had the moment of just throwing up my hands because life is so truley unpredicatable. I mean really. its almost insane how much i try to plan and God's plans just always get in the way. ha. So i had an idea. I went to ASU to presue recreation because there was a certian job that i enjoyed doing, and somewhere i lost that. So today i remembered that and started applying, and am in a bit of communication with a few places, just some emails. I can only do so much work and God will do the rest. So who knows what the future holds.

anyway. that's all.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

1 Tim 4:5

Today was Rough. I know what you're thinking, what could i possibly have to say!? But tis true, there is more.

Today i woke up to the sounds of many voices around. I am a pretty observant person and i know that my grandma is very overwhelmed with life and just extremely tired. For the last 3 months she has been driving back and forth from the hospital staying there all day, then coming home at night, just to turn around and do it again. I would be tired, anyone would be. imagine being 80 something and problems of your own. needless to say, shes exhausted.

So as i hear grandpa is leaving on his walk i go out because some people had left. Well, my grandmother in a panic started to yell at me to put it plainly. Remember those combs i cleaned out, well i left the ones that where on the counter out, and had cleaned the other 34 that were stuffed in draws. Well apparently ONE of those combs was his favorite. She found it, so all was fine, but it gave her the chance to say to me what she wants to say to everyone else. So of course i tried to explain to her that she knows that's not true, and i am the last person that is here to order her around and tell her she is doing a bad job. Then i walked away.

and cried, for i don't know, what seemed like hours. My Uncle showed up with 3 of his girls, i wanted to be happy but man it was bad timing. So he figured out something was wrong with Grandma and talked to her, then came to find me crying in my room. He talked to me, and my Aunt came in to talk to me and tell me to not worry about it, and some other stuff but i don't want to make this a novel.

My grandma came in later to apologize. She felt awful, and i explained to her that i am not here for grandpa, that's what the caregiver is for, i am just here to help her get some rest, clean, cook if they need that so in a month when i leave it will make her life that much easier. and she knew that, she is just so tired. My uncle told her she could probably sleep for 3 days at this point. insert more crying here.

So therefore i left to go over to my uncles house and hang with his family, my 4 cousins and my Aunt. Plus her two sisters came over and some other family for fathers day. We ate, played apples to apples, which is fun, and just chatted. It was nice to get out of the house, but i was in a pretty somber mood the whole day. What is it that my uncle said to me, "no good deed goes unpunished."

oh boy. So yeah. Today has been tough. I am still sort of in a mood... maybe because now i don't feel comfortable with a lot of things. I overheard my grandma saying she didn't want to lose me, which she wont but now its trying extra hard not to step on toes which is already making me feel stressed. oh well. tomorrow is a new day.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Unique New York

So i made it to California. This is good news. And every since i got here its been go go go. I arrived Tuesday night and right away my Aunt Sharron and i started to clean out some of the food cabinets. Go ahead and ask if we found cans that expired in 2005, because the answer would be yes. Needless to say, i sure have my work cut out for me.

My grandpa came home for the first time in three months on Wednesday morning, in tow was our caregiver Jimbo! A very nice man from Africa. Its humorous watching grandpa trying to understand what he says sometimes with his thick accent. I giggle.

I left Wednesday afternoon because i figured with grandpa coming home and getting used to a new caregiver, getting out of sight was the best thing i could do! So that's just what i did. I headed up to Ventura with a pit stop along the way for some Mexican food, walking, and a tour of the Fuller Campus in Pasadena by my Friend Tad Klein.. shout out. That's my besty's brother... Miss Allison Klein. She will probably try her hardest until the day she dies for us to get married. ha ha.

Anyway, after that i went straight to my first ever ULTRA SOUND appt (da da da) for my other Besty Miss Noel Young. She my friends, is 3 months prego with what he hope is a boy, but will also try really hard to love if its a girl (hehe). JK.. OBVIOUSLY. geez. I caught about 9 flies in my mouth at that appt because i was floored. Did you know ultra sounds were like video and you could see the baby move?? i mean i didn't know what to expect but it was crazy exciting. Booya.
Then Noel, her mom, and went to souplantation, and watched so you think you can dance to round off a fantastic night.

wrap this up KATIE! alright...

so then next day i went and saw some peeps from my internship at the Navy Base. Lunch at Nap's... chicken Cesar wrap with fries.. heaven. Heard some new drama, i mean NEWS. And that pretty much summed up that.

Then went to dinner with my bud Zack and watched the Smakers (lakers) win.. ugh. Honestly, someone just take a foul and punch Kobe in the face. Amen.

Anyway, then i got to spend the day with Noel today, and pamper her, i love pampering friends. Especially ones that deserve it! Good Talk.

Anyway... i am back.. with my grandparents. Made them some dinner, and cleaned out the bathroom draws. 6 tubes of used toothpaste, 845 band aids, 78 black combs... and i am NOT joking NOR over exaggerating. Tis True. Now i lie in my doll sized twin bed, making a grocery list, and also a life list for the next week. I love list. Nothing better then crossing off lists. Oh man.

Who knows whats gonna happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after yesterday. its in Gods hands, that's for sure.
But for now i am happy.

until i have something else to say........ Night!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Whelp, i should be doing homework.
But obviously that's not happening!!

I packed all day today, moving back to CALI tomm morning.
Pretty excited to get out of the June Gloom Heat and be near the beach.
My sanctuary.
Its been a long day, but i got a lot done.
Room all packed up and except for my 285 books there is almost no trace of me.

It was so great that Dianne, Sheree and Derra came over.....
those girls are awesome beyond belief and all in their own unique ways.
So happy i can call them friends.

Anyway... Off to Neverland.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

first blog

Alright, that's a lie. This isn't my first blog... i have had to do a few for classes, but those are boring ones. This one, this is for fun. Do i want people to read it, eh. I constantly catch myself reading blogs of people i don't even know..... why do we do that? and yes, i say WE because i know I'm not the only guilty party here. Although i feel like i need to be married or have a family of my own to have one of these blogs......... or probably some very insightful wisdom about life, God or love. But i don't really have any of that... but i do have sarcasm. And a lot of it.

How about i start with something of substance. My brother just left for Africa. 18 years old and on a missions trip, raised 3 grand by himself... what a little go getter. its insane.. i constantly say i want to do things like that and my little brother decides and then he does it. I am obviously missing a step. He just graduated high school, and i find myself constantly looking at my brother these days and realizing what a Man he is. I want to be just like him. He is kind, caring, clumsy, smart, outgoing, sure of himself, and a man of God. Who wouldn't want to be that?

Anyway, i find if you keep blogs short people will actually read them.

Did i even say anything important. Nope.

thanks for participating.